


B & B: #16

by Ignisentis



Series: 32 Ways To Say I Love You [16]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: A Creepy Bed and Breakfast, Idiots in Love, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, soft and sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:01:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22473001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ignisentis/pseuds/Ignisentis
Summary: Steve and Bucky head to a Bed and Breakfast for a little getaway and learn a valuable lesson about always seeing pictures of the rooms before you book.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Series: 32 Ways To Say I Love You [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1602352
Comments: 23
Kudos: 151





	B & B: #16

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, look, we made it halfway!!! If you've been reading from the beginning, or if you've just joined today, thank you so much for your support! 
> 
> Nothing is described in too much detail, but Steve and Bucky do end up in two pretty creepy B&B rooms, so please see the end notes if you want to know what's in them ahead of time.

Steve sighs happily as he stretches out in the passenger seat, humming tunelessly as he pulls up a playlist on his phone. It’s Bucky’s turn to drive, and they still had about two hours to go until they reach Portsmouth. Steve can’t wait to get there and check in at their Bed and Breakfast, maybe take a walk, grab some dinner.

When he’d suggested a little getaway a few weeks ago, Bucky had immediately said yes. They decided to take a little road trip, see some New England sights. But not too far away in case they were needed. So they settled on Portsmouth, New Hampshire, and had started looking for a place to stay.

The Bed and Breakfast they picked, The Old Manor, was about 20 minutes outside of the town itself, nestled into the forest. It looked quaint and quiet and incredibly relaxing. For now, though, the highway was boring, so Steve reaches into the back seat and grabs his knitting, settling in to knit for the last two hours of the drive.

He wakes up with a start when Bucky pokes him and says, “Steve, we’re here!” right into his ear.

“Ugh,” Steve grumps, which makes Bucky laugh and kiss him on the cheek. He groans as he stretches the sleep out of his muscles, climbing out of the car to follow Bucky into The Old Manor. It was charming from the outside, the lobby even more so, full of dark wood and rich fabrics. No one was behind the desk when they walk in, but there’s a sign saying to ring the bell, so they do.

A woman with graying hair comes into the room a few minutes later, apologizing for the wait. Steve waves her off and smiles. They didn’t have a schedule for this week, so he truly does not care if anything took longer than anticipated.

The woman — Birdie, she tells them — checks their reservation and passes them a key with a smile, filling them in on breakfast times, the best hiking trails in the area, and the closest antique shops. Steve flicks his eyes over to Bucky when Birdie mentioned antique shops, and he can see Bucky trying his best not to laugh. Nothing like going to a store specializing in items made decades  _ after  _ you were born, being marketed as super old and valuable to make a guy feel ancient.

Birdie doesn’t seem to notice, thankfully, and she continues talking cheerfully. Eventually she seems to realize she’s been going on for a while and hands them their room key. Bucky smiles at her kindly, thanking her before grabbing their bags and heading up the stairs. 

They’re in room four, at the end of the hall, so Steve pushes past Bucky and unlocks the door. He swings it open, flicking on the light switch, and freezes in the doorway. Bucky runs into his back with a little “oof” before asking Steve what’s wrong.

“Uh…” Steve says, articulately, before stepping into the room so Bucky can come in, too. 

“Uh…” Bucky echoes as he takes in the full view of the room. He kicks the door closed behind them, sets their bags down, and says, “what the fuck?”

Steve is wondering the same thing because the room is full of stuffed animals. And not the cute kind that little kids like to snuggle. The “I used to be a living creature then got taxidermied” kind. There’s a full-size bear in one corner of the room, standing on its hind legs, mouth open as if it’s roaring. There are birds perched on the ceiling fan, deer and antelope heads with massive antlers, raccoons, groundhogs, foxes, badgers, owls, beavers, and a...bison? In New Hampshire?

“Why is there a bison?” Bucky says, frowning.

“I was just thinking the same thing!” Steve exclaims.

“Steve. We can’t stay in this room.”

“No shit.”

“I cannot fuck you in a room where dead things are watching me.”

“Well, I can’t fuck  _ you _ in a room where dead things are watching me, so we are in total agreement here, pal.”

“Let’s just...let’s go ask Birdie if we can have a different room.”

Steve sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Yeah, okay.”

They head back to the lobby and ring the bell again. Birdie shuffles over, concern plain on her face.

“What can I help you with?” she asks.

Bucky looks at Steve expectantly, and Steve gives him a flat look back. Bucky smiles exaggeratedly and waits for Steve to start talking. Oh, he’s gonna pay for that later, the little shit.

“Well, we were just wondering if you have a different room available?”

“Oh, heavens, is something wrong with the room?” she asks sincerely, and Steve realizes she truly has no idea why they might want to switch rooms.

“Um, it’s just that...Bucky here is a vegan, and so the whole animals theme is a little much for his delicate sensibilities. You understand, surely.” Steve has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing when he feels Bucky start glaring at him.

“My goodness! A vegan, you say? Well, of course we’ll get you a different room! Let me see here…” she opens up a god’s honest reservation book, and Steve realizes there isn’t a computer on the desk. He frowns a little and pulls out his cellphone. 

“Do you happen to have the WiFi password handy, Birdie?” he asks.

“Oh, no, we don’t have anything like that,” she says cheerfully. “You’ll just have to enjoy the scenery and each other!”

“And the dozens of dead animals,” Bucky says under his breath, quiet enough that only Steve can hear him. He starts to laugh and covers it with a cough when Birdie looks up at him.

“Just a little...dust in my throat. Any luck with that room?” Steve says, putting on his best puppy eyes.

Birdie softens and coos a little as she goes back to the reservation book. “Yes, you’re in luck! Room two is available this week, as well.” She hands them the key and takes the other one from Steve. They thank her and head back down the hallway to room two.

“Finally,” Bucky whinges when they reach the room. “I’m ready for a nap.”

Steve keys into the room and freezes. “Uh…” he says, stumbling as Bucky pushes his way past him and into the room.

Steve closes the door behind them as Bucky drops their bags on the floor. Steve takes in the room, then looks at Bucky, who is standing stock still, staring wide-eyed at the hundreds, maybe thousands, of dolls covering every square inch of the room. Creepy, creepy, creepy porcelain dolls. Steve sees one that’s missing an eye, and he shudders. 

“Bucky?” Steve says, and that breaks Bucky from his reverie. He pulls out a knife and steps toward the closest doll.

“Bucky, no!” Steve shouts, lunging for Bucky and pulling him back by the shirt. 

“Steve, I gotta. I just  _ gotta.” _

“Buck, you  _ can’t. _ I mean, yes, I would love to let you knife these things out of existence, but then we’d have to pay for the damages, and like  _ hell  _ am I giving Birdie one cent for these abominations.”

“How is this room worse? I didn’t think it was possible after the animals, but...Steve, this is worse! This might be the creepiest room I’ve ever been in, and that is saying something coming from me.”

Steve holds his phone up and takes a panorama of the room because at this point, what else can he really do but document this? He has to see it and suffer, so the rest of the team is going to suffer, too. He pulls up the group chat and sends the image. 

Bucky pulls out his phone, too, when it starts blowing up. He chuckles darkly at the reaction from the group, who are all suitably horrified by the room and pissed off that Steve made them see the image.

“Nice,” Bucky says, pocketing his phone again. “But seriously, we can’t stay here.”

“Yeah, I know. Let’s go make up some excuse and get the hell out of here. We’ll just go into Portsmouth. I’m sure we can find somewhere that has a vacancy in town.”

Bucky nods and picks their bags back up. Steve takes one more look over his shoulder, shuddering as he closes the door on doll hell.

They do manage to make their excuses to Birdie and even let her keep their reservation fee, mostly because they don’t want to spend one more minute in that place, and they pile back in the car to head to Portsmouth.

They manage to find a really great, modern Bed and Breakfast called The Sailmaker’s House that has no taxidermied animals or dolls in sight. They eat some dinner, watch the sunset on the harbor, and do their best to salvage the day.

Later, lying in bed, Bucky curled up at his side, Steve thinks back on the day and feels laughter bubble up in his chest. 

“What? Steve, what?” Bucky says, pulling away from Steve and leaning up so he can see Steve’s face. 

“You — “ Steve chokes out, cutting himself off when he starts to laugh.

“Steve!” Bucky chuckles, “you asshole! Tell me!”

“You pulled a knife on some dolls!”

“Oh, shit, I did!” Bucky bursts out laughing, too, and they laugh and laugh, working each other up.

“And...and I was going to obliterate those dolls, Steve, I really was!” Bucky says, as he starts to wind down.

“They would have deserved it!” Steve says, wiping the tears of laughter from his cheeks.

“I guess we know why there weren’t any photos of the rooms on that other place’s website,” Bucky says, still smiling.

“Who do you think wrote all those positive reviews, though?” Steve asks.

They look at each other for a minute before saying “the dolls!” in unison, dissolving into laughter once again.

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings for the creepy B&B room contents:  
> *Room #2 has taxidermied animals  
> *Room #4 has lots of porcelain dolls
> 
> The Old Manor is not a real B&B, yay! The Sailmaker's House IS real, and from what I can see online, it looks lovely!


End file.
